


Annie, Fall.

by StillSinging



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, It's not just sex, Lesbian Sex, Oral Sex, angsty lesbians, because mikasa doesn't have feelings, ep 25 spoilers, how do you relationship, i'm sure you're devastated, it was unavoidable, kinda spoilers, mikannie - Freeform, not the story anyway, smut involved, they're really bad at talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 13:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4223961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillSinging/pseuds/StillSinging
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wish you'd fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Annie, Fall.

**Author's Note:**

> *runs self over with ship* So I got distracted from my Eremin project I've been crafting, sorry if this is horrible and I suck, but I woke up and this happened.

You look so cold behind that crystal, your eyes are closed and your skin is pale despite the bluish tint the crystal casts onto you. Are you asleep? I watch the sun set over the destroyed city, the places you and Eren smashed, it was hardly a fair fight. But you didn’t fight fair now did you? You don’t want to talk, you were losing, and so you turn yourself to stone just to run from it all. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, and the way the setting sun scatters colours onto your face makes something in my chest tear apart. It hurts, and I remember you were crying. You cried before they tore you out. You also cried when Levi cut open your face in the forest, and I feel like I’m never going to get that sight out of my head.

Eren needs me right now, but I can’t stop wondering if you ever actually fell. Now I know you wouldn’t appreciate my sentiment, but I really did want you to fall for me. You were always so cold though, but that was okay because people thought I was too. I know that isn’t true though, because I think you and I are similar; and not because we can send grown men flying without a second thought, it’s deeper.

You and I did what we had to in order to survive; we bury our feelings somewhere deep inside where they can remain in check. It’s all you can do in a dying world where the only thing keeping you alive at the moment is the false sense of security behind the walls. When they break, some cry and some get angry (as they should be); but you and I fight. What were you fighting for, Annie? I fought for all the family I had left; I fought so that one day I didn’t have to be so strong. Why were you strong? It couldn’t be because your father told you to be…we all have our own reasons.

Eren says you felt through your actions, and that makes sense I suppose. That was always the way you and I communicated. Fists up, and digging our knuckles into each other’s ribs, our conversations consist of the sound of fists against bone, and the hissing of our breaths as we wade through the pain. “Go harder,” I tell you, daring you to make it hurt more. I think you’re holding back, I’ve seen you end fights faster than this with no chance of your opponent fighting back. I’ve hit you a couple times already, but this time I hit you in the face. No one has hit you there before have they? Because your eyes widen and your fists lower by an inch, and you step back slightly, that’s the price you pay for going easy on me. It’s only a momentary retreat though, only a second of you letting your guard down. A second for me to feel victorious, and your eyes set again with determination, you become cold again. Your foot swings out and catches me in the shins, sweeping me off my feet.I land flat on my back as the air whooshes out of my lungs. You stand over me, your ice blue eyes upon my grey ones. 

I think it snowed once, a while ago when I was younger. I was fascinated by the icicles, and the way they glimmered in the sunlight. Now they make me think of your eyes, not the colour of course; but the cruel beauty of their fleeting existence. Your pale blonde hair hangs in your face, shadowing it against the setting sun. The sun sets you on fire, the orange of the sunset glows on your hair and your skin, reflecting in your eyes. I didn’t think ice can burn. My breath comes in rasps, “you should breathe,” yeah you’re right, I _should. _It’s more of a statement than concern, but it’s hard for me to breathe. You made me fall; it was fast and it was glorious, the instant stop chasing the air from my lungs. Why are you still here? Normally you’d leave by now, you won, there’s no reason for you to stay. “You shouldn’t let your victories weaken your guard,” you say as you stand over me like a bird of prey. I’m so vulnerable right now, and you make me feel that way. _Damn, _you’re dangerous. I knew that even then.____

____“So does that mean I won?” I laugh weakly, still struggling to breathe; and I can’t tell if that’s from the fall or the look that flits across your face. You’re so hard to read. I wish you’d fall. It’s not fair. You’re up there, and I’m down here blinded by the way you seem to glow in the sunset. You should fall, down here—with me. Your lips should land on mine, I want to steal your breath and see how well you breathe after a fall like this. Kiss me, Annie. Fall with me._ _ _ _

____You didn’t kiss me that day. No, it was the next day. I was unwrapping my wrist before bed; my scars need to breathe too._ _ _ _

____“When did that happen?” I jump, I didn’t think there was anyone around but I guess you were…or you snuck in. How did I not see you? You’re standing in front of me, how did you get there? I have half the mind to rewrap them, because no one is supposed to see them._ _ _ _

____“When I was young.” I continue to unwrap it, because it’s only you after all. You could care less about scarring rituals, and it’s not like it’s something shameful. Just private; you’ll keep it private though, as you don’t really like talking. I meet your eyes, and there’s something different. Usually you never really look at people, even when you make eye contact you’re still aloof. This time, I think I see something like interest._ _ _ _

____“Did your mother give that to you?” I look up at you, confused as to why you’d consider that important._ _ _ _

____“She did.” Something in your eyes pieces together, it’s as if you figured me out, and for some reason I don’t doubt it._ _ _ _

____“Makes sense,” you shrug, tell me, Annie. Why? I think you read me because you actually explain, you never explain things, you just leave things as they are and wait for people to figure it out. “It makes sense why you hide it, your family’s dead and it’s the last thing of theirs you have left.” _Ouch. _Why are you so blunt? You’re either blunt, or you’re vague. There are no grey areas. You come closer now, I’m on the edge of my bed and you’re above me. Is this the only way you can talk to me? When I’m in a weak position? Your hand clutches the wooden beam of the top bunk to brace yourself as you lean in, face to face, why are we so close? “We have to hide things that make us vulnerable don’t we?”___ _ _ _

______Was that an agreement? I almost ask, but then your lips crash onto mine. Our teeth clash and we bite at each other’s lips. You’re the one in the rush, I’m just trying to keep up with you, you never liked taking things slow did you? I fall backwards onto the mattress, and you’re crawling on top of me. You’re so warm, they think you’re cold, but I know better. You burn in the sun, and your lips are hot on mine, I wonder if the rest of you is as warm, I wonder where you’re the warmest… “Mikasa,” you hiss my name in my ear, your hands slither beneath my shirt, and I cry out. I cry out just from the feeling of your hands on my stomach, “you’re so soft,” am I? Am I really that soft? Your lips part over the side of my neck and you bite me, and you suck, and it hurts but—oh my, you’re the one making it hurt, and I love it. Your fingertips dig into my ribs, into bruises that formed after yesterday. I arch my back into the dull ache your touch brings, hardly noticing that you’ve undone my shirt and are pushing it off of me._ _ _ _ _ _

______My hands fly up to your hair and I laugh, it’s still pulled tight back into its bun._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What’s funny?” I think I see you smile, but it’s kind of dark and I could be mistaken. I’ll pretend you smiled._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Let your hair down,” I want to see it fall onto your shoulders, I want to pull it. You slip my bra over my head and then take out your hair, I want to revel in the way it falls, I want to map out the kinks and the knots but you don’t give me time. You never gave me time. Your hoodie came off, along with your own bra. Then it was back to the kissing, but not on the mouth. You leave kisses down my collarbone as you dug your fingers into my breasts, slipping your thigh between my legs. I’ve never done this before, have you? You sure act like it, but you hardly ever look at anyone. There are spikes of warmth that travel from my groin and into my stomach when you roll your hips against mine. You keep moving downwards placing your lips around my nipple as you draw circles with the tip of your tongue…and _whoa _—! I didn’t know that the nerves there and the nerves in my groin were connected. Everything with you feels new somehow, I want to stop to take it in; I need to take time to accept this.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Teach me your moves, Annie. I know nothing, except for your mouth and your hands caressing my hipbones, your hands are the only part of you that is cold, and I love the contrast. You push down my shorts and the weak elastic of my underwear, and you’re down there with your cool fingers working circles around my clit, and I didn’t know I could get this wet. There are tears in my eyes as I bite down onto my forearm, the fingers of your other hand splay across my hip and for a moment you’re gentle. Your breath is warm on my navel, as your other hand works me through. I wish there was something I could do for you, but you don’t seem to have that on your mind. I drag my nails across your shoulder blades; I like the feeling of your skin because you’re soft too. You’re soft and strong…and I like that. You look up at me with your glacial stare, your hair splayed all about your face as you bite your lip. You’re so beautiful that I move your hair behind your ear, so I can see your face more clearly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Your hand stops, why would you stop? I’m about to protest but you move downwards the rest of the way the soft skin behind my thighs tingles where your fingertips touch. “Shhh,” you tell me, and you lean down again to resume your work, except this time with your tongue, I look down at you but your eyes are closed, it’s like you’re at peace, and I find that hard to imagine. I’m not sure what to do so one of my hands goes to your hair which is like silk between my fingers. My thoughts are turning to mush, and I feel the temperature of my insides rise, I might melt into the sheets, I feel like all my nerves are becoming unglued, I’m going to fly everywhere, so I tighten my grip onto your hair to ground myself. My legs are being lifted, and draped over your shoulders as one of your hands leaves my thighs to work on yourself. You _would _be able to multitask. All I can do is bite into my forearm to keep myself quiet as the burning gets bigger, reaching up into my spine and curling around my stomach, I feel like I’m glowing. It’s then that you set me off, riding orgasmic waves leaving me here floating around and around, wondering if you’ll care enough to pull me back.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Soon after me it’s you who is gasping for air and you turn your face into the crook of my thigh as you bite down to keep yourself quiet. Annie Leonhardt needs to keep herself quiet, I think I should feel proud, but then I didn’t make you do that yourself. I want to though. I’m thinking very dirty thoughts right now that I think you might like, that is…if you let me one day. Can I fuck you into the mattress? What if I tie you to the bed frame so you can’t stifle your screams? I want to be able to hear you. God, I want to try _all _sorts of stuff with you. You ride out the rest of your orgasm, with my fingers still laced in your flaxen hair.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________We stay like that just for a bit until your breathing evens out and it’s spilling over my naked skin. I comb your hair with my fingers. That’s not too affectionate is it? You don’t seem to mind. Did you fall asleep? I don’t mind you here…just…the trainee’s barracks are never empty for long and we’re _very _naked. You stir, placing both of your hands flat on the mattress on either side of my hips to lift yourself up. Your hair is a beautifully tragic mess; maybe that’s why you always tie it back.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You’re leaving though, and I don’t know why that disappoints me, you pull on your hoodie, and your pants as if nothing happened. As if I’m not here._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________I should have said something, something like ‘bye’ or ‘that was nice, next time do you want me to reciprocate?’ No. Too many words. You definitely wouldn’t like that. It may have been the wind, or someone else outside, but I think you might have said ‘bye.’ The air is cold without you here on me, please come back to bed, let yourself sway backwards and fall here, with me. You hesitate in the middle of the room and I can’t help remembering how twilight’s last light turns your hair purple, are you thinking of coming back here? No…you reach up behind you to pull back your hair, and then you’re gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________We don’t talk about it the next day, we train with everyone else but find time for hand- to- hand combat, and it was just a normal day. Except it happened again…you and me in the showers this time doing more with our hands and our mouths, but we won’t talk about that either._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Are you going with the Military Police?” You ask me before the choosing ceremony, your hands are in the front pocket of your hoodie, and your hair is damp. You didn’t meet me in the showers that night. I think the MP would be a smart idea, we could live, and Eren and I would be safe. However, Eren has other ideas, he’s not as survival oriented as you and I, for him it’s all about revenge._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Eren’s going with the Survey Corps.” I don’t look at you, I know where you’re going, and it doesn’t make me ache at all. Not a bit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I didn’t ask about Eren.” can icicles actually puncture you? I’m not sure, but your eyes sure do, your mouth is set in a hard line. I don’t answer you because you should already know. My duty is to protect Eren, he needs me and I’m never going to leave him. “Eren. Doesn’t. Need you,” you say through clenched teeth. Why the hell should you care if he needs me or not?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You don’t know that,” you didn’t grow up with him; Carla’s last wish was for me to protect him. He’s not strong like I am; he doesn’t know how to walk away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Mikasa!” You hiss my name; your hand is gripping my shoulder as you slam me into the wall. You sure like it when I’m pinned down don’t you? “Think about yourself for a change!” Your gaze is volatile as you hold me there. Who is this really about? You don’t linger after sex, which is something actual couples do, what are we, Annie? We’re hardly a couple, couple’s are sweet to each other and tell eachother that they care; they don’t pin eachother against walls and leave after screaming eachother’s name. In a relationship, both people fall, and oh—I wish you would, but I won’t make you. We’re so close right now and it’s just like the first time, do you think that kissing me will change my mind? That was the first night I dropped you, I placed my hand on your shoulder which seems to relax you for the moment, that is until I swung my foot under yours and your blue eyes widened as you flew backwards._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________I think I surprised you, that’s the second time I’ve been able to do that, I pretended not to feel when I walked away stepping over your body. No one tries to stop me. But I can’t stop remembering about how you looked so lost lying there on the floor, splayed out struggling to breathe; but I wouldn’t stay to see if you’d get up, much like you wouldn’t stay around to say goodbye when I went off with the Scouting Legion. You were already away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________How dare you go for Eren though, how _dare, _you try to take him away. You should know better, he’s all I have left, and you know I’ll do anything to protect him. Even if it means I go against you. I really think I love you Annie, even as much as I hate you right now. How dare you try to climb up that wall, what are you running from? Why don’t you stay this time? I think you were scared of me too, that’s why you never stayed around after sex, and it’s dangerous for me to think about, but I think you might have loved me back. But you won’t say it, you _need _to stop running. I think you’re scared of falling, I saw it in your eyes when I cut you down from the wall, but we all have to fall sometimes._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You need to stop running and accept it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Annie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Fall. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
